Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
