Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
