you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
