were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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