Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
