i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
