i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
