And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
