Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
