We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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