just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
