her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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