well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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