speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
