That's intense
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
