Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
