i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
