Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
