This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
