my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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