based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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