hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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