The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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