I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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