I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
