I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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