Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
