yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
