I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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