got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
