Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
