Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
