why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
