Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
