I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize