Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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