Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
