one two three fourrrrnication!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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