were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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