If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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