He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
