I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
