Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
