are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
