The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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