My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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