What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
