Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
