maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
