i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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