I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
